A Farewell to MJ

From the Rav’s Corner:

This past week, millions mourned the loss of arguably the greatest solo artist of all times- the King of Pop – Michael Jackson. People across the globe commemorated MJ. Many purchased “I love Michael T-Shirts.” Some wore the signature sequenced-white glove to his funeral. And those who really loved him, molested little children – twice. (Too soon? )

Personally, I loved Michael Jackson. We are only now starting to realize that Saint Jackson did it all: he sung, he danced, he brought smiles to the faces of frowning children. He grabbed the area between his legs  where men other than Michael would find testicles, he personally delivered cherry lolly pops to millions of homeless Africans, and once, he jumped into the ring during a Michael Vick dog fight to break it up. He didn’t suffer any skin disease. He ripped off his skin and used it to cover a freezing penguin during the dead of winter, nursing it back to life. He was then given a new skin. That was Michael Jackson. It didn’t matter if you were black, white, reptilian (which is  the specie MJ transformed towards the end of his life) …you were important to his heart.

In all seriousness, he was the best fuckin dancer. I mean, he danced around TWO child molestation convictions. It is one thing to acknowledge one man’s greatness. Whether he’s a star athlete or world-famous musician, if you excel at what you do, you deserve a degree of praise. But there comes a point when actions away from the arena become so egregious that they taint, cloud, even diminish artistic achievement. And that point comes when you touch a penis of a little boy.

What I despise most about this entire situation is not Michael Jackson himself. If you hated every criminal on earth it would be a brutal existence. What is so disturbing is the hastiness to forget all the bad and dote on all the good. Really??? Come on here, the guy had an inflatable blow up doll of a boy hiding in one of his rooms, when the cops searched the Neverland/Molestation ranch. If anyone – mother father, sister, brother, friend, girlfriend found a inflatable blow up doll of a boy secretly placed in my apartment, there would only be two accurate notions.
1)      I like to touch little boys.
2)      I love to touch little boys.

Jesus fuckin Christ here. Why the fuck did he have a blow-up doll of a child? Well you might say: He was never convicted! Good point assholes. Neither was OJ Simpson; I don’t hear people giving him a free pass (especially after his most recent actions in Vegas). He also paid off the family of the first accusers – tens of millions. What innocent person gives in like that rather than fight for his reputation? He had no childhood! He was ABUSED! Oh ya?? Childhood issues excuse adult crime? Every fuckin kid was hit/belted/slapped – you name it-by their parents during that era. I don’t see other 50 year old males grabbing every toddlers’ weiner in sight.  It’s something you just DON’T do. No matter what “issues” plague a person.

Am I supposed to feel sorry for all these young artists who make it big before they hit puberty? Fuck that. Making millions and millions of dollars to sing, do what you love, and reach your goals. Cry me a river. If you hate it that much, STOP doing it. It’s that simple. Take all your cash and tour the world – or do everything that  you have always wanted or missed out during your “shitty” childhood. I understand having mental breakdowns – THAT’S NORMAL. Shaving your head, marrying a white trash back up dancer, showing your vag to the public (all of which can be found at brittenyspearsisapsycho.com) is cool with me. Just don’t invite a little boy to sleep over and touch his genitles.

Sometimes, we just need to look through the art and see the artist. Michael Jackson was a human being of the lowest order – but G-d damnit, how the fuck does he do the moonwalk. If he were not an extraordinarily talented musician, he would be suffering in jail the fate of child molesters. But no one wants to think of him that way. Instead, they sell millions of tickets to his funeral. The first 5 rows were reserved for children under 5 – that’s the way Michael would have wanted.

But for those of you who are still missing Michael, his life story is set to hit the big screen in 2011. Much like Ray, starring Jamie Foxx, this movie will track the making of Michael Jackson. Starting from childhood with the Jackson 5 through his adolescence, and eventually turning into a solo artist – the King of Pop.  Casting is already under way. The little black kid from role models will portray Michael during his mischievous childhood years. Then Chris Brown will attempt to mimic MJ’s dance moves as he transformed into the King of Pop. Then towards the end of his life producers decided to pass on Usher and go with Justin Timberlake – since there is a closer resemblance.

Michael Jackson’s music will touch people for eternity  – touch their hearts, not their penises.